It is my honour to introduce to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs.....

I don't know what it is about a man in a uniform....

But they do nothing for me.

Unless, the man is Matt Damon.

(Does anyone know who the guy in front is?!)

I recently confessed to my room mates about how I spent a good portion of my preteen years pretending I was Mrs. Matt Damon. Not exactly something I'm proud of but I'm not embarrassed. It's actually more depressing than anything else because now I know exactly how big that fantasy was.

The onion of my future with Matt Damon is slowly unraveling. At first there was so much potential. As a kid I had a whole onion.....but over the years the layers have fallen off. Slowly at first and now almost completely. But I still get butterflies any time I see him. 

Does anyone blame me?

I mean , imagine this: Matt Damon approaches you on the street and starts chatting you up about all sorts of stuff. You guys are getting along really well and you can sense the sparks flying. Then, suddenly Leonardo DiCaprio comes up and interrupts Matt Damon with something really witty and you both share a laugh. Now what do you do? Do you talk to Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio at the same time? Do you choose one over the other? Do you give each a fair chance to prove themselves and then choose one over the other? The answer is and always will be you choose Leonardo DiCaprio because, bitch, stay away from my man!

That's the way of the world. The law of the land. How the chips have fallen.

And if you break that rule..........................



Honestly though, I get a good kick out of teasing myself and my friends about stuff like this. Obviously, if Matt Damon asked me to marry him I'd say yes but because that's an impossible that's just too impossible to conceive that I hardly think it (anymore) I poke fun at my would-be carefree days as the fantasy Mrs. Matt Damon. I don't even sign my diary entries like that anymore. I just have a lot of respect for him as an actor and person and it helps that he's very sexy. If anyone wants to disagree or present me with a sexier alternative by all means, feel free!

Peace and love, dears.
-Mrs. Damon