Thoughts and things and things and thoughts

You know, it's not very often that commercials border on entertaining AND accurate but every once in a while "they" strike it big.

Take any cat treat commercial in which a human shakes a bag of treats and a cat runs half way across the city to get some. I've done that. 


There's something about those treats that make cats go absolutely insane. And come home, like, right away.


But, the big question is, what's with catnip?

There are not many animals on this planet who spend one quarter of their life being a total jerk, 1 quarter of their life sleeping, 1 quarter of their life hunting/eating and the last quarter acting like a crazed addict in desperate need of a fix.

REMIX

You know, it's very often that commercials border on infuriating AND annoying but every once in a while "they" really piss me off.

Take that car commercial in which a little girl goes into great detail about a van while her parents stand in the background acting like complete and utter idiots. I can't stand it. 

There's absolutely nothing about this commercial that could ever make me interested in that car. Or go insane for a car either. In fact it just makes me want to scream, like, right away. 

But, the big question is, what's with annoying kids?

This is the only car a kid should be trying to sell or for that matter giving two damns about. When has a five year old ever cared about a 6V engine or whatever?

AND THEN THE OTHER THINGS BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD

Imagine you're a buffalo calf and you've just escaped from a lion....you would have so much street cred! People couldn't say SHIT.

I never want to be a male Emperor penguin because they have an unbelievably lame existence. They have to guard their eggs for four sunless months in the stupidly cold Antarctic without eating or drinking. Poor bastards.

Ever thought about the fact that ants were born ants? What a shitty deal. What if one of the workers' last life was as, like, Gandhi or some shit?

I believe that I may have revolutionized terrorism for everyone because the best way to get a chemical weapon across a heavily protected border would be to attach it to a time release bomb, equipped with a video camera to insure that the bird has entered the targeted area....right?

Definitions

Ever defined the word 'definitions'?

definitionsplural of def·i·ni·tion (Noun)

1. A statement of the exact meaning of a word, esp. in a dictionary.

2. An exact statement or description of the nature, scope, or meaning of something.

I have.

Next question: Ever defined a relationship?

I have.

But I'm seeing the light....

In the first episode of How I Met Your Mother, Season 5, Barney and Robin are forced to 'define their relationship', while locked in a bedroom, knowing only that they like each other and that they're happy.

Their friend Lily pressures them to, basically, 'make an exact statement or description of the nature, scope, or meaning' of their new romance....something that is quite honestly IMPOSSIBLE to do.

Think about the implications of giving an EXACT statement or description of the meaning of something...think about what that would mean to humanity if we all knew exactly what we wanted, now and in the future.

Because that's basically what 'defining' a relationship is all about, right? It's all about taking that next step with that person and finding out what exactly is happening.

But my question is: how can you possibly know? 

Obviously this is a revelation that's affected a lot of people a lot of times before me but I find it oddly exhilarating that I know something different...

I'm used to a very status quo approach to relationships but wherever the 'thing' I'm in now goes doesn't matter to me because I'm open to the possibilities.

Freedom, baby! It feels gooooooood!

Lack luster so I apologize....

Hi there blogosphere! It's been awhile and I owe it all to the lack of entertaining things I've experienced/feel the need to say.

So instead of doing the usual movie thing, which burned out because even the bad previews I watched on imdb.com were too bad to review, I'm going to say hi, how are ya and then move on to the sweet game of solitaire waiting for me.


So....HI, HOW ARE YA?

Good...good, that's good. Me? Yeah, I've been good. Working for my mom a bit, visiting room mates, making travel plans for August (OUT WEST, baby!!), planting a little here and there, watching myself become a newly liberated woman AND, this above all else, counting down the days until I go up to Paradise Bay.

Paradise Bay, you ask? MY COTTAGE! It's been a looooooooohooooooooong time since I've been and I simply cannot wait!

Anyway, I'm gonna go because the inspiration thing? Yeah, I have none.

Abortion Rant

I'm becoming more and more embarrassed to live in a country whose government concerns itself with the private choices many young women are forced to make, in the face of accidental pregnancies. Abortion, at the centre of so many debates, has absolutely no bearing on our Prime Minister's personal life or how he runs this country. So why do we let him cut funding to organizations like Planned Parenthood?

In fact, the very idea that a government, in a democratic country, implements policies that restrict a persons right to abortion just goes to show that 'freedom of speech' is, unfortunately, limited to those who march to the loudest drum. In our case, PM Harper refuses to 'reopen the abortion debate', a debate that quite frankly has no personal implications for him.

According to Stats Canada, in 2004 there were 16.1 million females in Canada (a 50.4% representation of the total population) so when Harper says that 'reopening the abortion debate' is not the primary concern of the Canadian people, one has to stop and think.

"So although 27% of the Canadian population was 'personally against abortion' (in 2010), that does not detract from the 50% who were 'pro-choice', nor does it detract from the 46% who believe abortion should be legal under all circumstances."  So why has it come down to whether or not Harper thinks abortion is right?

If it's a question of morality let it be on the conscience of the person who chooses the abortion.

English Rant

Detour from the usual movie thing but necessary.



People my age and younger suck at English. In the grand scheme of things, English is a hard language and the formulas are constantly changing regardless of the "rules"....There are more exceptions in English than can be mentioned but that's no excuse for the blatant misuse of a language. However, the BIGGEST problem I've been noticing lately is the totally improper use of "your" and "you're".


Quick English Lesson:

Your: possessive
You're: a contraction of you and are

In a sentence?


Your book is on the table.

You're the owner of that book?

Hard?


No, not at all.

I don't know why people don't understand this SIMPLE and incredibly BASIC grammar rule. It's one thing to use "ur" instead of the full "you're" or "your" in a text but if you're (you + are) going to type it out, in what you THINK is proper English, take a second and just read what you're saying.

"hey dude, your going down!" does NOT MAKE SENSE. Someone cannot be the personification of "going down"; it's impossible.

Another mistake people make?


then vs than


Then is based in time
and
than is comparative

In a sentence:


Susie is going to the store and then to the movies.
(Susie is creating a time line)

John would rather go to the movies than go to the store.
(John is making a comparison)

HARD?!
no, not hard.


Did you know that....

• Almost 50% of Canadian adults have low literacy skills?
• A 1% increase in the literacy rate would generate $18 billion in economic growth every year?
• and, in Ontario only 30% of the population have less than a high school education?

Why?

Brought to you in part by the Coalition for Literacy Rejuvenation and The Rebecca G. Fund