Appyhay Astereay!

Blogs with a purpose are always the ones that get real attention...like world-wide, people living in a different time zone kind of attention.

Blogs that are for baking or clothing or video games are the ones that people visit on a daily basis.

But blogs like this one or Sam's are really just for our own entertainment.

Not that there's a damn thing wrong with that.

Anyway...all of that has absolutely nothing to do with what I really wanted to blog about.

The truth is: I feel bad. Because Sam's in the house all by himself this weekend. It's Easter so we all sort of shipped off home while he's "on-call" for Mega Marble (aka Marble Slab...long story) and stuck in Guelph. So, I wanted to do something nice for him and this is what I came up with:

Ok, so I can't take credit for this. But I hope that you (Sam) got some enjoyment, anyway!

Miss you (and all my 353 Bobs) a lot.

Papa Oloff, keep an eye on the girls, OK?

This is what I was originally gonna post.

Predictability or Fate?

This is my room mate Sam and he is, above all else, one of the most predictable guys I know. His one endearing quality is that we (his room mates) always know exactly what he's doing or going to be doing later on. I would never consider this a flaw because he obviously understands the importance of routine. You know, I could be one rich lady if only Chotchy had let me start betting money on the things Sam does or says. Actually, if we each threw $2 into a jar every time Sam's said "that's what she said" or "I think I'm just going to order pizza and watch a movie" we could easily fund our alcoholism and drug addiction for really no cost at all! But it's just a little quirk of his 

(along with making those damn lists) and that just makes him special. That, and he makes us laugh. 

However, to avoid inflating his ego too much I'm going to switch gears a little and ask you this: if Sam is so predictable what the hell do you call it when someone gets the SAME mark in everything they do, no matter what effort they put into it? I mean it has to be beyond predictable, now, that every time I do anything in school I get the same grade. In fact, I think it's gone beyond predictability and entered into the realm of joke-hood. It really doesn't matter if I study hard or throw pizza at the basement walls of my old residence because I will wind up with the usual 70-75. I'm not complaining, just kind of curious whether the 70s are just where I'm meant to be.

Oh my god. That's it! For all we know the marks we get in school reflect the era in human history that we're supposed to be in! I believe it (even if it is my own theory). If you consider that I like marijuana but no other drugs, if you consider that Bob Marley and Simon and Garfunkel are my all time favourite artists than you'd probably realize that I should be this age in 1970-something. 

And I think that's reflective of everyone. Maybe not exclusively but in most cases. If you think about it,people who get higher marks are generally people who are more focused on improving the world and adding their research to their specific field. But people who get lower grades are happier living at a slower pace and, in some cases, in the past. I genuinely believe that the way I behave is reflective of what era I was meant to be in.

If you disagree....well, you're entitled to that opinion.

TOP 4

You learn somethin' new every day. For me it was a couple things.

#1. My dad has a lot of crazier stories, in his collection, than I initially believed. Sure, I've heard the blueberry pie story and the story about his foot getting run over by a car about a million times but this...this was different. This was the kind of stuff I had never expected to hear and now that I'm the wiser, I can really say I know who's the good guy and who's not. I didn't want to get home, today, as fast as we did: I just wanted to keep driving around the city swapping stories with my dad. He's been through a lot and while I've always given him credit as an amazing dad, hearing all this just gives me reasons for why he cares so much. Not that you need a reason, as a father, but sometimes there's more to it than just "blood". Anyway, kudos (if that's even enough recognition) to the guy who stuck to his guns, even through some really tough times in his life!

#2. My emotions are fairly erratic: sometimes that's OK but sometimes I catch myself being unnecessarily short with people. To anyone who's ever been subjected to me when I'm in a "bad" mood: I'm really sorry! It's absolutely nothing personal and how I'm feeling will probably pass if I'm just given space. But a tip to those who want to avoid that side of me: don't ever hover. Hovering puts me on edge, like nothing else. Well, the sound of people eating is like my version of nails on a chalk board. But in all honesty, it's hovering that drives me nuts. And again, I'm sorry....I really like you. It's not you, it's me, actually!!

#3. Lost is my numba one go-to show if I need to cry. In almost every episode something terrible or amazing happens, literally without fail. And I just get all gooey and tearful. No other show has that effect on me!

AND

#4. This man is the bane of my existence:

Look at him with his "attitude lean" and that little all-knowing smile playing at his "ughy" lips. I apologize for not coming up with anything better than "ughy" but he makes me feel.....gross. And why's his hair so curly? And why's his shirt unbuttoned? It's not like he's got a nice body...it's just covered in more curly hair and that's gross. And, also, why does he think he knows everything?  He's probably the ONLY guy on the island whose batting average is pathetically low. And when I say "batting average" I mean he's never right about anything. OK, maybe he's right once or twice.....but mostly he's not. He's not like Jack, who's a total control freak or John, who just seems to do things...he's, like, this guy...this spare guy who's just around when I don't want him to be.....it's such a shame he lasted throughout the ENTIRE season. He could've pulled a Michael (a character I actually cared about) and bought his way off the island and never bothered me again! But no....there he was, goin' strong til the very end.

Ugh.

I'm pleased

I'm a pretty good sport. I let Sam beat me up on the front lawn this afternoon....right after Brad and Kate had a death match of their own. Hmmm. And I did just fight with Sam in a rather awesome attempt to put lipstick on his face...during which he might have threatened to cut somebody with a huge kitchen knife. I guess that's what he gets for wandering into the kitchen and asking what everybody's talking about. 

Seriously. I couldn't make this shit up.

Well actually I could as I'm a pretty imaginative and inventive dudette.

But still.

Sam thinks everyone's jealous cause he won his very first Settlers of Catan game ever.

You see, we pretty much moved the entire living room to our little nook outside and just hung out in the beautiful weather all afternoon/evening. It was pretty awesome.

Actually today in general was pretty awesomesauce. Although, I think Sam's a bit apprehensive as things lately have been going about as well as they ever go for him and he's waiting for the other ball to drop. But I'm definitely enjoying stuff today.

It's just nice.

Speaking of which,

That's me. I want Sam to get a bike!


BiRdie!

It absorbs right UP!

I'm 21 and I'd like to know what right I have to say that I know what I want out of life. Where am I supposed to dig up the information that you 50 year olds have collected over the 5 decades you've been on this planet? You've all gotten successful or realized the mistakes you've made and tried to fix them with the years you've had to pick up on the little things. But me, no...all I know is that I live away from home but I'm not independent. My parents pay my tuition, my mom cooks me dinner, I only function at 100% when I'm in the care of the two people in this world who know what life is all about. Sometimes parents tell you what to do or how to think but that's OK. What really hurts most of all, in this world, is when someone you don't even know presumes to understand your character. Even if that someone is a person you respect and whose opinion you take considerably to heart, even if they do know a little about people and understand something about human nature, even after all of that...it's still incredibly offensive to be told that the path you're on isn't the right one. I would never have known that university is not the place for me if I had never chosen to come here. But I had to figure that out for myself. How can someone ever know that the path they're on is not the one they're supposed to be on if they don't try, at least for a while? Maybe I've taken nothing conventional away from this university experience but I'm in the process of taking away something so much more than that: I know, now, that what I'm supposed to do is not be here. Does that make sense? It does, to me and I'm a little tired of trying to prove myself to people...why do people insist upon proving themselves to others before they have a greater understanding of themselves? You...you came here to study...to get a higher education and maybe that's what you've always wanted, what you've been sure of since you were little. Or you...maybe you came here with one idea of yourself and learned that you've become quite a different person. But me, I came here to prove to my parents that I would do what is expected of me...and this is not meant to be some sort of attack on my parents because I love them and respect their opinions greatly. But they have gained that respect; they have gained my respect because I've survived this far because of them. So that's not the point. The point is, I wasn't try to prove myself to anyone when I joined that class. You know, I'm not opposed to the idea of someone giving me a suggestion but when you make it seem like you know me, when you don't, that is when it truly hurts. I've respected his opinion the entire time I've known him (not long but long enough to know that he's good at what he does) but I lost respect, or he lost credibility, when he presumed to know me...and in no way could I defend my entire person in five minutes. It's just not fair to assume that in that time could I explain to man, who knows nothing of my life, why I do the things I do...or act the way I act. Personal fears or obstacles exist but that kind of psycho-analysis isn't new...it isn't inspiring. It was, when it appeared to be objective...when it came from the mouth of a man who just seemed to be doing his job....but then, today, it came from the mouth of a man who seemed to think that he, over the course of only a few months, has collected enough information (from impersonal observations) to know me. He sat me down, questioned my focus, questioned my person and didn't seem to grasp that it wasn't about the class but about the experience. And I really have no intention of pursuing a career that is directly related to that which I study...but the subject that I'm focused on, one that I truly enjoy, has everything to do with what I think I want. So I'm not ambitious enough to survive in a competitive environment but that's OK. That's fine with me because, if there's anything I know about myself, it's that I'm perfectly happy driving in the slow lane. I would rather take the next ten years to figure out what I'm supposed to do than to take on some pretense that I'm passionate about university, that I'm passionate about this study path I've chosen. I'm not. I'm not passionate about it specifically but I'm still excited by the potentiality that awaits me. So you're an accomplished doctor and you're a lawyer..maybe you love every minute of it and for that you ought to be grateful. Or maybe you wake up every morning and question why you continued doing something you've always hated. Either way, that's the decision you've made. But us, us young adults, are our personal problems and obstacles not what define what means to be young? I've yet to find love but I'm not jaded or cynical enough to think that I'll never find him. The thing is, he's probably just as lost and confused as I am and that's what I'm going to love about him when we finally meet. Anyway, it's not about having an identity crisis but about being told that you should be this person when you...you know who you are. As undefinable as it is to tell someone why you are who you are and as frustrating as it may seem to sit down with a person you respect and be told that maybe you're wasting your time...as much as it hurts to feel like you're just coasting with no specific aim, eventually you'll figure it out. Eventually you'll know who you are, where you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to be doing. Take into consideration the advice you get and never look down upon those who are just trying to help but keep in mind that everyone figures out what they're meant to do at very different times in their life. I have no idea. I don't think I'll know for a while....but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'll know by this time next year...or maybe I'll know earlier. Maybe you're sure that you've always wanted to be a businessman and then realize one day that you want to travel or teach. Go for it. The world will still be here even if we take things a bit slower. I'll probably always regret how much this experience has frustrated me (because who wants to be upset?) but I'll never regret coming here because it is within these walls that I've learned a very important lesson: I'm not meant for this. I'm meant for something else and sooner or later that something will manifest itself into reality. I've just got to keep hoping that it'll happen but never rush it because I'm anxious to grow up. I've got a long time before I've got the responsibility and the life time of knowledge that you 50 years old have.

PERMA-UGH

 INSTA-HATE (nsta-ht)

1.

a. To feel hostility or animosity immediately

b. To detest immediately

2. To feel dislike or distaste for (something) immediately

This is just something I've been dealing with lately. But the word...Insta-hate...it'll be thing. You read it here first!

Ugh

I almost died today. Some guy on a little red scooter came barreling down the sidewalk and was inches away from splattering me all over the ground. He gave a little warning honk but a little too late and then had the nerve to shake his head in disbelief, like "Wow, girl, how stupid can you be to almost get hit by me?"

Well, dumbie, I'm not the one cruisin' around Guelph on a bloody 400 horse power scooter. I'm not the one who accelerated down that ramp. I'm not the one protected by a helmet and a couple hundred pounds of steel. So next time you look at me like getting run over on the sidewalk is MY fault, think again.

Watch yourself!

You better check yourself before you wreck yourself!

I mean, really....

           If you wanna race, go ask this guy where to sign up, OK?

Boycott on Flower shops!

I while back I had this half baked theory on the upcoming zombie take over. I wrote it all out in my phone, pretty confident that was I was saying made sense until....well, now.

Directly quoted from my very own finger tips:

"Funeral homes buy out all sorts of stores (like flower shops)........"

That's it.

What the hell was I trying to say??

How are funeral homes, flowers and zombies even remotely connected?

Funerals and dead people, I understand but flowers and zombies.....??

So....I guess what I'm going to do now is piece together what I was trying to say with the information I have.

Here it is:
If funeral homes buy out flower shops then they hire dead people to be florists and then, eventually, once a lot of people have been bitten by these zombies...we'll have an outbreak and the world will cease to exist.

That is if it were possible to hire dead people to sell flowers. Oh, and if it were possible to convince people to come into your flower shop when the clerk just happens to look like this:

I don't normally judge stores by who's on cash but I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable ordering a dozen roses from a guy who's too busy smelling my brain, to help me out. It's like, dude, my eyes are down here!

But who am I to say that the Zombie Apocalypse won't originate out of flower shops? People buy flowers. Zombies like people......

I like to live though so if you don't mind, Mom and Bubbie and anyone else I may consider buying flowers for, I'm gonna have to skip over the whole bouquet for you thing on Mother's Day. How about chocolate instead? Or a rifle?

And to all you dudes out there who've cheated on their girlfriends: "I'm sorry you're a zombie now but.....I'm gonna have to kill you!"

Brap! Brap! Double Tap!

A rant about Lost

In all honesty who makes a show about smoke monsters and inexplicable polar bear populations and actually expects to get popular!?
OK, obviously the creators of Lost but what I'm asking is that you really look at what Lost is about and then think again why it was such a good show. Oh sure, because there was tension and suspense and a lot of crazy shit going on but.....smoke monsters and polar bears on a jungle island? With no explanation other than

 

"the island is a wonderful place". 

I live in a wonderful place. I call it Canada and we have polar bears because we're 5 minutes away from the Arctic!

Television doesn't make sense to me. If I think about it for too long I realize that TV shows are just about a group of total strangers running around together, solving mysteries or doing autopsies on pretend dead people. Yet I love Lost. I could watch it every day, 5 episodes.

Wait, I do watch it every day, 6 episodes when I'm really in the zone. But it's totally dumb.

Especially because no one ever bothered to explain what that big black horse was all about or how the fuck Walt mind-ninja'd that bird into smacking into that window. I mean, some stuff was explained. Like the "Others" just being Darma people or the electro-magnetism that made the plane crash in the first place. But other shit, other crazy ass stuff like that shark with a Darma tattoo or the really tall four-toed foot....what's up with that? Why was that never talked about again? That foot showed up, like, a bunch of other times and no one bothered to be all like "Hey, so....what's up with that?" That's the first thing I'd do....I would not even let the "Others" talk until someone explained the damn foot. But Jin just sat there and gave Sun a funny look, like "Yo, what's up with that?" but when everyone was sitting around in the damn thing's shadow Locke never said anything....Locke, the guy who always asked questions!

God, I know it's probably because the writers were in too deep and were trying to keep all the blood in their heads, instead of going under but I'm an unsatisfied audience member! I cried a lot throughout the series because shit was sad and I got scared for people when other people had that crazy look in their eyes but I waited, episode after episode, week after week, for someone to say "The polar bears were all just a figment of your imagination. In fact, this has all just been a dream within a dream! Incepted!"

Anyway, Lost is awesome. Just keep in mind that it really made absolutely no sense.

PS: I've been struggling for the last hour to make a vlog within a blog.....epic fail.

The Luck of the Irish continues...

At least back in Alexander the Great's time

 

I know, I talked about the absurdity of Oliver Stone's Irish Greeks already but this is an entirely different issue.

Maybe the reason Alexander is known as one of the world's greatest leaders and conquerors is because he had the luck of the Irish on his side.

 For all we know, his Macedonian army was actually an army of Leprechauns! Like, what if he called them to his service when his need was most dire? Maybe, the truth behind leprechauns is that they were originally a cursed group people punished by some old King...let's call him Isildur...and that when Alexander was on his way to battle the Persian or Mordor army he decided to walk the Paths of the Dead and release them, so long as they help him out. And then because the leprechauns were really helpful in battle the saying "the Luck of the Irish" came into existence.

Where are the leprechauns now anyway? Gone, released from the curse that had been holding them to this world for so long.....free to appear every once in a while on cereal boxes or stories about chasing rainbows and finding pots of gold.

I just redefined everything you've ever believed in, didn't I?