What the hell happened to our shit pile?!

So apparently 1 o'clock in  the morning was, in my opinion, the best time to clean out the Ladies cage/vacuum the floor. Which is no big deal because just about everything in my room was starting to smell like, surprise surprise, rat shit.
I don't know why I let it get so bad. But I think I know what my mom always went on about when I asked if we could get a pet bunny.
"If we get a small pet you're going to have to clean the cage every week"
"Gosh, Mom, it's not that hard. I'll do it, I promise!"
Well, I was a liar. At least she wasn't hear to see it/smell it.
Last night I was listening to the Prisoner of Azkaban audio tape on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR9szt6XsRA) and I was at the part where Professor. Lupin is teaching the kids how to deal with Boggarts. And I thought to myself, as I slowly drifted into Dream Land, what a Boggart would turn into for me. For those of you (strange) people who don't have a clue what I'm talking about a Boggart is a shape shifter, that can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most. So you can see why I had to think about it.
And it occurred to me, then and now, that there are really only two things that Boggart could turn into:
1. A zombie
2. The look on my mother's face if she saw my room in its current condition

Earlier tonight Chotchy, Sam, Kate and I had a really good game of "would you rather" going.

Poor little Katie is coughing up a storm in her room and it makes my heart ache to hear it. I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better......

Tomorrow night is trivia night at the B-Taps and, despite not being invited, I'm one hundred percent going. Way to invite me, Chotchy. Oh, and guess what?! Kate and I get to roll again! Suck it, bitch.

Sometimes we have board game nights and play things like Pictionary or Cranium and these are usually the nights that we are all really tetchy with each other. No one wants to lose but I'm not going to be a door mat, OK?

Today, I observed that Sam has a List problem. And I know it hurts his feelings, soul, brain and heart to hear it but that's just the way it is. I love him for it.

Today, I observed that Chotchy is a sore loser. But it's OK, because I am too. Probably one of the biggest. No one knows it but I usually go to the bathroom to cry, not pee, whenever we're playing a board game and I'm losing.

OK, now everyone knows. You know, all I want is to be in this place where losing at stuff doesn't hurt so bad....



God, that's depressing.

On another note, I'm not a sad person. Just to clear that up.

Well, I should go to sleep. My room smells like freshly torn newspaper and rat food, my sheets are warm and soft and my mind is wishing it wasn't still working. Ed Roy would not be pleased. He would also not be pleased that I don't do my breathing exercises in the morning but who needs to know?! Waste not, want not...or something.

Goodnight, from my rat infested love den.

-Berk

Ry-Ry!

Wha...who...where...?!?

So my Zodiac sign has changed and I'm not going to lie...I feel a little bit like a fish out of water. This addition of Ophiuchus to the glorious realm of the Zodiac is really making me question my identity. Just because the Sun is in a different constellation than it was 3,000 years ago doesn't make it any easier to hear that I'm going to be stuck as a ram for the rest of my life.
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I'm actually mildly shaken by this news. I don't follow my horoscope daily but when I do check it there is always something really comforting in the fact that I know exactly where to find "Taurus". Now I'm stuck in this in between place; on one hand desperately trying to stay in touch with the bull inside of me and on the other hand wishing I could accept my new personality traits.
I bet this news comes as a much greater shock to people who truly depend on their sign as a means to identify themselves.
What right do the astronomers have, anyway? They say a bunch of mumble-jumble, star studded crap and expect everyone to just follow along. Is that it? Because this is kind of the last straw for me. You all should know, by now, that I have serious beef with scientists/science and I'm starting to legitimately lose my patience for their shit.
You know, first they go around lulling us simpletons into a false sense of security when dealing with poisonous vs. harmless spiders. Then they go and just assume that the tiny dinosaur fossils they found came from tiny dinosaurs without thinking that when you assume you make an ass out of yourself. I don't know if you know this but very recently paleontologists realized that most of the dinosaurs they said were different species are actually just the baby versions of the kinds we already know. And now, I'm expected to adapt to this new sign, as if this isn't the most earth, mind, and universe shattering change the world has ever experienced. Jeepers creepers.
Who am I, now, without horns and a steaming nose?! Now I'm just a crazy looking, male sheep.
Although, a few friends of mine have been known to call me "the lamb".....coincidence or fate?
Now I have to go sleep so that I can wake up tomorrow and this will all have been a horrible, horrible nightmare.
Peace and Love,
-Birdie?

Hands.

So, the craziest thing happened to me today!!!! I was in the library and I got a call on my phone. I picked it up, all like "hey, what's up?" only to realize who I was talking to: Matt Damon.







OK, so maybe that didn't happen.

But I did run my first cue-to-cue this afternoon and I did go swimming with Manu...so my day was almost as eventful.

One pretty sweet thing did happen, though: I came to terms with my height. At least, to terms with it in front of people. Basically, my acting prof got everyone in class to go up, one at a time, and talk about themselves. And this was not your typical "Hey, my name'sth Bertha!! My favourite colour iths peach and I really like sthea monkeysth. I have sthix at home!" No, this was like "Hey my name's Dan" "Hey Dan" "And I have a drinking problem"

Did I say acting prof? I meant rehab worker.

But seriously, height is a big deal for me. I'm an amazon-lady and I really do feel like I go around stompin' all over people. I know that I don't...and that everything else about me isn't much bigger than other people but I'm tall...like crazy tall. My entire family is super tall but that's not why being tall makes things hard for me. It's not, like, I've lived in their shadow my entire or anything (haha). I'm serious, it's not that.

I just don't know how to master the space that I'm in. There's nothing I can do to make myself shorter (except slouch, but slouching is ugly) so it's about time I take the world in my two, Amazonian hands and shout out to anyone who's listening "THIS IS MY TIME AND I'M HERE TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT!"

And I'm honestly going to make the most of this semester. I was bat shit scared of going to the class this morning, mostly because I'm intimidated by everyone (ahem.....mostly because I'm intimidated by him....) but if Ed Roy (my professor) can push me, in the right way, things might actually work out.

I've always been interested in acting but I've never been encouraged to do it and I think Ed Roy cares about people, as long as they care enough about themselves. I just don't like feeling awkward on stage anymore. And I'd like to know what to do with my hands...


Seriously, what the hell are you supposed to do with them?!!

Oh, that? Sweet, thanks!

 

Snow Weeks are this week. So, that's awesome. Rehearsals are going well but I always get some pretty serious giggle fits and I feel bad!! I'm the stage manager and I'm supposed to be the most professional in the room. Pftt! Yeah right! Anyway, wish us luck! We're not going to need it but we might...so...just in case.


The ladies are back. And it's well past their bed time.

Nighty-night, bloves!

Peace and Love,
-Berk

It is my honour to introduce to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs.....

I don't know what it is about a man in a uniform....

But they do nothing for me.

Unless, the man is Matt Damon.

(Does anyone know who the guy in front is?!)

I recently confessed to my room mates about how I spent a good portion of my preteen years pretending I was Mrs. Matt Damon. Not exactly something I'm proud of but I'm not embarrassed. It's actually more depressing than anything else because now I know exactly how big that fantasy was.

The onion of my future with Matt Damon is slowly unraveling. At first there was so much potential. As a kid I had a whole onion.....but over the years the layers have fallen off. Slowly at first and now almost completely. But I still get butterflies any time I see him. 

Does anyone blame me?

I mean , imagine this: Matt Damon approaches you on the street and starts chatting you up about all sorts of stuff. You guys are getting along really well and you can sense the sparks flying. Then, suddenly Leonardo DiCaprio comes up and interrupts Matt Damon with something really witty and you both share a laugh. Now what do you do? Do you talk to Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio at the same time? Do you choose one over the other? Do you give each a fair chance to prove themselves and then choose one over the other? The answer is and always will be you choose Leonardo DiCaprio because, bitch, stay away from my man!

That's the way of the world. The law of the land. How the chips have fallen.

And if you break that rule..........................



Honestly though, I get a good kick out of teasing myself and my friends about stuff like this. Obviously, if Matt Damon asked me to marry him I'd say yes but because that's an impossible that's just too impossible to conceive that I hardly think it (anymore) I poke fun at my would-be carefree days as the fantasy Mrs. Matt Damon. I don't even sign my diary entries like that anymore. I just have a lot of respect for him as an actor and person and it helps that he's very sexy. If anyone wants to disagree or present me with a sexier alternative by all means, feel free!

Peace and love, dears.
-Mrs. Damon

 

Star Wars and Romantic-Comedy's must be related!

LUKE: (panting heavily) I can't. It's too big.
YODA: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hm?
Mmmm.
Luke shakes his head.
YODA: And well you should not. For my ally in the Force. And a
powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It's energy
surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we...(Yoda pinches
Luke's shoulder)...not this crude matter. (a sweeping gesture) You must
feel the Force around you. (gesturing) Here, between you...me...the
tree...the rock...everywhere! Yes, even between this land and that
ship!
LUKE: (discouraged) You want the impossible.
Quietly Yoda turns toward the X-wing fighter. With his eyes
closed and his head bowed, he raises his arm and points at the
ship. Soon, the fighter rises above the water 
LUKE: I don't...I don't believe it.
YODA: That is why you fail.

Yup Luke, that is exactly why you fail. If Kermit the Frog's great-great-grandfather can lift an X-Wing out of a bog, there's no excuse why you can't too.

You know, there's something to be said for watching a lot of movies. Gets your mind really working...at least watching four movies last night and two tonight really got me thinking....
1. If you're a super hero the only way you can shave your face is with your own finger nails. I know from experience. Believe me.
2. Darth Vader is a lot like Summer from 500 Days of Summer: he does what he wants, when he wants.
3. Don't make out with your sibling because that always leads to awkward conversations. I don't know this from experience. But believe me anyway. Just think about it....
Luke: So, Leia
Leia: Yes, Luke? What's wrong..
Luke:...I got some pretty crazy news to tell you. Remember that time you kissed me?.....yeah, we're gonna need to talk about that.
4. If James Earl Jones was actually wearing the Darth Vader costume, and not Uncle Fester, I think Star Wars would be way more awesome.
4. When I was in Greece two summers ago I fell in love with Antinoos:

And I may have found my modern day version. 

So, my faith in the existence of some higher power has been renewed. Praise Zeus/Jupiter!

That's my insightful blog for the night.

Ow!

Happy 2011 everyone! You know what this means? One more year until the end of the world. So, let's make the best of it. Let's actually stick to our guns and do what we always said we were going to do. You want to travel? Do it. You want to write a short story? Do it. You want to submit said short story to a publishing agency? Do it. Honestly, what is there to lose? In 12 months all this will be gone.
Or so the crazy people say.
But I think that it would be a good idea if, say, the government or our teachers (who think they inspire us to do great things) all told us the world was actually going to end. Like, if the President actually supported the crazies for once and made a nation-wide...no, world wide statement something along the lines of "2012 will be the end of our lives as we know it. Maybe there's something beyond but we won't know until it happens. So, I am officially declaring the year 2011 as a year to do whatever you want, however much you want, wherever you want and with whomever you want. Go nuts, guys." 
Personally, I would do a lot if I knew I only had so much time to live. I would actually travel and actually bother to write a short story. I don't think I'd submit it though; not much point if all that's left of the Earth is a few particles of dust floating throughout the galaxy.
Even if 2012 doesn't bring the complete annihilation of humanity I don't see why it wouldn't be a good idea to just fuck around for a year. Everyone would loosen up a bit. Fulfill their wildest dreams and desires. Get silly, for once, without having to worry what anyone else thought.
It would be a year of total relaxation coupled with a deep and sudden realization of our own mortality. But then when 2012 does roll around and shit isn't blowing up and the world isn't imploding on itself we can all laugh and look back on the zillion pictures we took of our shenanigans and be thankful that we're all still kicking.
And THEN, when we have to get back to work or school (reality) we'll do it all the more willingly.
I think, anyway.
The point is: this year we should make resolutions and actually go through with them. And I'm not talking about one far fetched plan to do something you know, deep down you're incapable of doing but a few somethingS that will make you feel...fulfilled.
I want to travel. Now seems like the most appropriate time to do it. I'm not held back by any, uh, attachments and while I'm thousands of dollars in debt I don't owe the government anything. Not for another year. So I should take my OSAP (I mean, hard earned money) and fly places, see stuff, meet people. I want that, I've always wanted it. Now's the time to declare 2011 as a year of travel and self discovery.
That sounds good. My parents will buy it.
I hope that everyone had a fabulous end to their 2010. Mine was quiet and unassuming. I spent it with my best friend and that's all I could ever ask for.
Now it's time to head back to that place that teaches me stuff (kind of) and be all involved and shit.
Again, Happy New Year!

Peace and Love (always)
-Beegie

Stuff

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1iB6e7/www.mocpages.com/moc.php/131387

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2385xk/www.punditmom.com/2010/03/an-open-letter-to-the-new-york-times-about-mom-bloggers-women-writers-the-universe (because I started to blog and stumbled upon this)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1SEU9R/ngm.nationalgeographic.com/wallpaper/img/2010/04/apr10wallpaper-1_1600.jpg (I thought this one's name was Gentleman's Emporium....)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2ZQROC/1x.com/OEfullSize/35299-fullsize.jpg (miss the ladies!!!)

goodnight