Man against Machine Episode 3: Before the end of Time!

Oh dear god, I have ten minutes to post this blog!

9 minutes now.

I can't think of anything to talk about....other than this epic battle of man against time!

If the world was going to end in 10 minutes I would have the following things to say:

1. I love you all

2. After you guys I love the show Community

3. After that, I would want to talk about how friggen weird Community is starting to get. Not in a bad way but just in a it's kind of been mirroring my actions a lot lately kind of way.

4. Oh well, c'est le vie!

which brings me to my fifth and final thing

5. We've all done stuff in our lives that we regret but then we all also experience those moments when we know that that's OK. You're not always going to be happy but if you understand that it's all just apart of life then you'll stop battling time and learn to dance to whatever music is playing.

(4 minutes left until the end and I can't help but think that the Bob Dylan playing somewhere in the background is eerily appropriate)

2 minutes....

1 minute....

Man against Machine Episode 2: The Matrix

As requested this installment of Man against Machine will be about Krista's struggle to comment on my blog.

You know, it's no easy feat to comment on one of these things. It takes more than just writing out what you want to say and then clicking "submit". You need a google account with a unique username and password, access to an email you don't mind getting spammed every now and then with blogger related nonsense and good eye sight.

Good eyesight, you say? By that I mean the ability to effectively decipher one of these symbol decoder authentication things that websites set up so you can prove you're not a robot.

Not that anyone who would be using a robot to stream movies online or comment on amateur blogs wouldn't also have built the technology, within the robot, to decipher that code like a human.

So next time you want to say something on my blog think about how deeply you're willing to get involved, here in the infinitely wonderful cyberspace. Because once you're in, you're in. There's no going back; the internet will own your soul, have access to all your fake email addresses (or real ones), harass you daily and make you decode countless of those things (up there!) until you snap or get old and forget how to log on to your computer.

Man against Machine Episode 1: DW gets wet!

I'm lazy by nature which means that if there's a dirty glass, and I'm setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner, the chances are I'll put the glass out anyway, my logic being that at least I won't have to deal with it during the meal.

Except that 8 out of 10 times I'll be the one who sits down at the dirty glass seat and has to crawl over everyone to clean it up. So why not fix the problem at the source? 

Well, it would take more than just telling me "Wash that glass!". In fact, it would probably take extensive psychotherapy just to come up with a legitimate cause for my laziness and then, similarly, extensive social therapy to cure my problem, on a day-to-day basis. The kind of effort commonly seen in people with "spunk".

That glass, in my opinion, is happier dirty and therefore I am happier leaving it dirty until such time as it makes my beverage look like bottled mud puddle. 

Wait a minute....maybe the bigger question here is why are the dishes in my house so dirty to begin with?

God damn dishwasher and its manufactured laziness! What's worse, really? Being inherently lazy or being programmed to perform a very specific function and still do it wrong?

Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

So next time I load a bunch of dishes into your belly, DW, do the task properly. So that later on I don't look like a jackass, elbowing my grandmother in the ear as I fight my way through human limbs (some turkey too, I guess), gravy boats and vegetable dishes!

And you know what? Now that I've started a rivalry with the dishwasher the theme of this weeks blog posts will be "Man against Machine".

La la la la blah

I have to stop living in this fantasy world where my imagination is boss. Because things are starting to get out of hand and I'm deluding myself into thinking that happiness is possible. And wait, before you get all up in my grill and say something like "but you're happiness IS possible", hear me out. Certain elements of happiness are out there; in fact, they're already happening to me like great friendships and a cool university degree but what about all the restlessness and uncertainty that I'm feeling? What about the fact that the school I go to makes me feel claustrophobic or that, in one fateful moment, my chances with...well...that situation...went down the drain? I'm not one who likes to live in regret but I can't help but think that I'm falling into a bad pattern of doing things at full throttle and with my eyes closed. The world is out there, Rebecca, and all this is real. I can't keep thinking that if I think certain ways it must mean that everyone else is too. People are so inherently different from each other, a lesson I'm learning a bit too late. I mean, people's reactions to my actions can't ever mirror my own reactions to myself, can they? 

Does that even make sense? 

I guess what I'm saying is that I need a change. I need to get out there and see what the world has to offer. Because aside from those that I know love me and vice versa, there isn't enough energy left in me to care about a damn thing. What's the point in all the waiting and the game playing and the timing and all this nonsense when nothing's going to change unless I do something about it? Which is why I either need to pack up and go and just scream out to the world that I'm unsatisfied with it.

Pack up and go? Where? Somewhere warm, somewhere where I can wear pretty dresses and my sandals or heels if I'm feeling sexy, somewhere with fresh faces and new smells.

And if that doesn't happen then what good will screaming out my dissatisfaction do? Probably not a lot but enough that I'll feel, if only for a moment, a little relief. 

I'm too young to feel like this is it and yet I know that I have years before me in which I will be in this state of uncertainty. That's just the price we pay for being young and having no experiences with life, or real life. This world I'm in of school and class and participation in discussions and drinking, smoking, sleeping in and staying up...it's all going to go away soon and I'll find reality and, oddly enough, probably like it more.

Not to say that I don't like drinking and swearing and all that fun stuff but there's no certainty right now. However, there's every bit of expectation from every angle that I have my life together. And, mark my words, I don't.

There's no accountability when you're young and, for crying out loud, I'm getting sick of that! 

Time to grow up? Yeah, maybe. Or at least time to move on from this game and become a woman of action! I'm scared because I can see her, just out of reach, slowly falling into darkness at the hands of my impatient and restless inaction.

Sorry for the bummer post but I think that I needed to remind myself of what's important and hopefully, if you're reading this, you'll understand that this is more urgent than it is depressing. 

I'm a perfectly content person, with myself (how I look, how I behave, who I talk to and what I believe in) so I'm not depressed...I'm just lost. I'm just in need of a little direction.

La-La Land isn't so much fun anymore.