Reading Archie Comics is like getting broken up with, then engaged and then broken up with again all in about 5 minutes....

I'm an Archie Comics fan and always have been but that doesn't make me any less sensitive to the roller-coaster like and often brutal emotions that the characters go through.

Archie's been around since the 40s and the same formula has been used ever since: boy plays a game of relationship tug-of-war between two beautiful girls, while battling egos with a cocky friend. It's simple, it's nice and sometimes the punch line is actually funny....but a recent reading of a Cheryl Blossom strip has got me thinking:

You know, after all, Veronica Lodge really is a bitch.

See, what happens is Cheryl tries to formulate a perfume that matches her personality and, after finally perfecting it, throws a launch party inviting all the (important) students from Riverdale High. At this fancy shindig Archie, Veronica and Betty complain about how bad the mosquitos are and wonder why Cheryl isn't being bothered....that is until Veronica realizes it MUST be because of the perfume. They proceed to spray it all over themselves and you know what? NO MORE MOSQUITOS! The comic ends with Cheryl telling a news reporter (??) about the embarrassing misunderstanding and Archie, Ronnie and Betty prance off together into the night laughing at poor, humiliated Cheryl.

Everyone knows that if this happened to Veronica she'd just about shit a brick. 


I really think the ONLY Archie characters that have any substance are Jughead and, on occasion, Betty. Jughead is simple, he minds his own business and he stays out of trouble. Betty has a good heart and all she really wants is for Archie to like her.

Veronica is manipulative and selfish and I know that's all very obvious AND part of her character but it's awful that she calls Betty her best friend and then goes around deceiving her. Archie is a coward and a womanizer and it's a little annoying that, in the end, he always manages to get what he wants. Plus he's not really that good looking. And Reggie, well he's a jerk but he usually gets what's coming to him so he's not all bad.

I'll still read Archie Comics but I feel a little tired after I'm done....one minute Archie's taking Betty out for dinner and a movie and the next he's all wrapped up around Veronica....then the next he's taking triplets out on the same date and in the end he's buying Veronica and Betty the same Christmas present to save money.

Stand up guy, eh?